Compelling People by John Neffinger & Matthew Kohut - Book review

Compelling People

The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

By: John Neffinger, Matthew Kohut

Published: August 15, 2013
Format: Hardcover, 304 pages
ISBN-10: 1594631018
ISBN-13: 978-1594631016
Publisher: Hudson Street Press











"This book explains how character judgments work. When people size you up, what are they looking for? It also explains how to make character judgments work for you - what you can do to affect how others see you", write presentation coaching and communications strategists, and partners in KNP Communications, John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut, in their cutting edge research based and and very practical book Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential. The authors describe how when two people meet, they make very rapid character judgments about each other, with those judgments based on the two criteria the authors call strength and warmth.

John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut understand that the instant judgments made about other people are really two impressions. The first of two important criteria is strength, based on the perceived ability and drive to get things done. The second of the paired criteria is warmth, based on a perception of shared feelings, values, and worldviews. People respect people who provide that sense of strength. People are drawn others who radiate personal warmth.

With these two crucial insights in place, an entirely fresh realization of the human experience is made clear. The authors demonstrate how, along with knowing the value of projecting strength and warmth, to act upon that knowledge effectively in all social environments.

John Neffinger (left in photo left) and Matthew Kohut (right in photo left) recognize that not only do people make judgments about others, but they are being assessed themselves in turn. The authors present the concept that in every social interaction, the individual is sending out personal signals and a message about who they are or appear to be to others. As a result of this important knowledge, it becomes a decision to send out different signals to others in social situations.

The challenge, write John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut, is that it is very difficult to send simultaneous messages of both strength and warmth. To combine the two signals, the authors present a comprehensive outline of how to display this image of leadership potential. After extensive research, the authors offer insights into the dynamics at work for every person. These variables include traits over which a person has little control, and those that can be improved to project warmth and strength, including body language, speech, personal style, and clothing choices. The topics covered in the book include the following overarching sections:

* The big idea: Warmth and strength
* The hand you are dealt
* Playing the hand
* Strength and warmth in the world

For me, the power of the book is how John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut combine the powerful insight of projecting strength and warmth, with the guidance for being self aware of one's personal attributes and choosing to demonstrate the positive traits to the world. The authors provide insights into the reasons why judgments are made regarding the perceived traits of strength and warmth. Those reasons are presented as being influenced by physical, gender, and racial attributes; as well as by behavioral traits that can be transformed by the individual.

The authors provide a complete program for empowering a person to demonstrate leadership potential by radiating both warmth and strength. Instead of being forced to choose one or the other, the authors share the techniques to display them both. The book is designed to be read either as complete narrative, or as a reference to enhance a weakness in either the strength or the warmth attributes. The research based information moves beyond mere opinion, but shows how and why judgments of a person arr made in real world social interactions.

I highly recommend the very hands on and leadership skills development book Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential by John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut, to any current or prospective leaders, in any organizations or industries, who are seeking to increase their level of influence by improving how they are judged by others. This book is a clear and complete guide to projecting both warmth and strength as a dynamic and charismatic leader.